Placebo Journal - Medical Humor With A Purpose

1. Fake Medical Journal

What is a real medical journal? I guess it is in the eye of the beholder. I believe that our Placebo Journal is real in a fake sort of way. At least we don't purport to have real research and try to convince doctors to prescribe one drug over the other. In fact, our drugs are fake. Confused? Well, you should be. There is information that Merck paid Elsevier, a huge medical publishing firm, to produce six bogus medical journals between 2000 and 2005. They were all made to look like legitimate, peer-reviewed medical journals and used for marketing purposes which really means these journals were made to impress doctors and to get them to prescribe their drug. The website called The Scientist was told by a spokesperson from Elsevier that they produced six titles that were a “series of sponsored article publications” released by its Australia branch. It makes you wonder how many other "look alikes" are out there. Now we know what the drug companies are doing with all the money they are saving by no longer giving out pens and mugs to doctors. As far as the publishing companies, this is just a sign of how bad business is right now and what they will do for cash. Medical journals and throwaways are dying out there. Some are wafer thin now (Medical Economics) or are just going digital (Diversions). And they all mocked us at the Placebo Journal because we didn't accept or rely on advertising. At least we didn't produce fake material. Wait a minute, we do.

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2. Snakes In A Bowl

Do you think you are having a bad day? Well, compare yourself to this dude in China who just wanted to relax while having a #2. He was admitted to Puli Christian Hospital for infection after a huge snake rose up from the bowl and bit his penis while he was trying to do his business. The rat snake was not interviewed for the piece but rumor has it that it was drunk and was trying to kiss what it thought was a long lost friend.

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3. Male Birth Control

Chinese researchers are using testosterone injections as a form of male birth control and it seems to be working. USA Today reports that the results will appear in the June issue of the Journal of Clinical Endocrinology & Metabolism. More work has to be done and long-term side effects needs to be teased out but the regimen looks promising. Word has it that many Major League Baseball players are very interested in this type of contraception. It's not that they want the testosterone injections to hit the ball farther but they just want to control the planet's population (and hit the ball farther).

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4. Placebo Journal Update

We have started to work hard on the next issue in order to keep the laughs coming. We consisently are told that our journal is the only one read cover-to-cover. Isn't time you found your smile again? We have the answer and it comes right to your house every other month. If you want something that is all humor and guaranteed to make you a little incontinent then:

Manny Ramirez's legacy is ruined now that he has been suspended for 50 games. He is blaming his physician for giving him a banned substance. The name of the medication is HCG, or human chorionic gonadotropin, which is a female fertility drug. Yeah, we often give that medication to men. Actually, I have never seen that drug given out but I am told that HCG is popular among steroid users after a cycle because the body may stop producing testosterone on its own when they go off roids. Since Manny threw his doctor under the bus the press needs to find the doctor and grill him like they did the Octomom's physician. I hope they do because this physician needs his or her license taken. This is no excuse for Manny because he is a moron having been caught after the baseball shakeout of steroid use. He could have retired and walked into the Hall of Fame rich and famous. Wait a minute, this kind of stupidity is just Manny being Manny.

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Two neurosurgeons in NY were suspended for a couple of weeks because they allegedly abandoned a patient in the OR. The patient's head was shaved and was already anesthetized but Dr. Thomas Milhorat and Dr. Paolo Bolognese were nowhere to be found. You can find the article here but it sure seems that there is more to this story. I was more impressed that Milhorat earned $7.2 million and Bolognese made $2.4 million in 2007. Holy crap, that is a lot of money. Do you think the two week suspension will really hurt their wallets? Actually, these guys were at a conference in Italy while they were taking this "forced" break. Do you think the North Shore Chiari Institute will fire them? LOL. Trust me, if the doctors are making that kind of coin then the medical center is making even more. These guys are the closest thing to walking on water as doctors will ever get and they would have to do a lot more to be let go. A run of the mill pediatrician, internist or family doctor, however, would have his license suspended and would be looking for a job in a different state. Remember the Golden Rule: Those that have or make the Gold make the Rules.

Addendum: Someone very close to me who knows these docs really thinks they are the victims here. He told me to wait for their side of the story because these surgeons are really good guys and maybe they are being set up. "Why would they abandon a 'scheduled' OR case?" he asked me. He makes a good point and I also realize that I think I was just jealous of the amount of money these doctors make. It slanted my opinion.

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The AP is reporting that the Obama administration may recommend everyone get three flu shots this fall (one for the regular flu and two for the new swine flu). Though this may sound simple, it isn't. First, it will cost billions of dollars to not only make and distribute it but also to convince people to take it. By the time the late summer/fall rolls around no one may care as much about the H1N1 flu (swine flu). That will lead to a massive advertising campaign to mobilize (aka scare) the public into gettting the shots. The other issue is that the previousswine flu vaccines had some serious side effects in the 70's. Hundreds of Americans developed neurological disorders after getting it. My buddy was in the army at that time and he remembers that when he and his unit got the shots they were sick as dogs for a few days. That won't fly well with Americans today. The big issue then becomes do we hold tight and not make this vaccine for a virus that has yet to prove its devastation or do we make one that could have sides effects (the biggest being that it will fuel the anti-vaccine movement even more)?

Health Affairs is reporting that:

About 15% of elderly Americans had prescriptions for psychiatric drugs in 2006, double the percentage a decade earlier.
Adults who say their activities are limited by mental illness were less likely to have contact with a mental health professional in 2006 than in 1996, and the decrease was greatest for the elderly, dropping from 30% to 20%.
The most seriously ill may be receiving less care from specialists.
The increase in treatment for children and adults under age 65 has come about through increased diagnosis by primary care doctors.

The article in the USA Today, where this report was highlighted, quotes the author of the study, Richard Frank of Harvard Medical School, as saying "Seniors are most concerning to us. Traditionally, they've been the most under-treated. Now many are getting psychiatric medication, but, among the seriously impaired, access to specialists is dropping."

You know, he may be right. It kills me that it took this study for him to finally realize that even though there are some super specialists in psychiatry at Harvard, the rest of the country is not so lucky. The truth of the matter is that the increased diagnosis and treatment by primary care doctors is probably due to us being forced to learn how to pick up on these problems. The reason we are better at this surveillance is that there are NO psychiatrists readily available outside the big cities, like, say, Boston. There is nothing that warms the cockles of me heart as much as having an elderly patient with an active and severe psychiatric problem who is not dangerous enough to admit, but has to wait 6 months to see a local psychiatrist. Until they get in to see him or her, they are all mine. As the McDonald's commercial says, "I'm Lovin' It!"

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Chloraseptic Allergen Block and Little Allergies Allergen Block, by Prestige Brands, are identical gels that claim to treat allergy problems. Just put this stuff under your nose and the allergens are drawn to it like flies on, well, you know. Is there any proof that it works? There must be because it is FDA approved. Not really. The FDA approved it as a device which really means nothing at all. The company claims it protects against ragweed, pollen, dust mites, pet dander and house dust but wouldn't a study or two be helpful? Not if you are in the business of making money. So, with a nice marketing plan and a good commercial, another so-called medical product is off to the races. Seems to me, though, that if having a gel under your nose is all you need to prevent allergies then why do my pediatric patients with boogers and snot underneath their noses still sneeze? Shouldn't that be a protective gel as well?

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10. Feedback About The Placebo Gazette

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK. Please go to each individual story and follow the link. If you do not have access to the blog you can also post your thoughts under the WRITE A REVIEW section.

Until next time, keep smiling, keep laughing and keep out of the sample closet.

Doug

King of Medicine