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Placebo Gazette #122

(Keeping Our Finger On The Prostate Of Medicine)
 
2/25/09

  1. Call For Stories
  2. Education Doesn't Pay
  3. Leave A Good Doc Alone
  4. Ridiculous Study of the Month I: Genetic Dosing for Coumadin
  5. Laser Eye
  6. Ridiculous Study of the Month II: Light and Prostate Cancer
  7. Placebo Journal Update
  8. Feedback About The Placebo Gazette 

 

1. Call For Stories

 
Do you want a free subscription to the Placebo Journal?  Or extend the subscription you have?  Just share your humorous medical story with us and you will get a free subscription to our hilarious print journal mailed to you every other month. 
 
It's simple.  Just write out your story on your word processer and paste it in here:
 
SUBMIT A STORY


What we are looking for are humorous tales that involve true medical incidents.   We are NOT looking for anything that shows compromise of care.
 
Here are some great examples:
 
1. Funny things that happened to you as a patient.
2. Stupid things that HMOs, Medical Admistrators, or Doctors have done.
3. Weird things that you have seen in the office.
4. Nursing stories, medical personnel stories, etc.
5. Embarassing things that you have done as a doctor.
 
Just follow the link above and paste your story in.  If we use it then you will receive your free subscription and be PUBLISHED!
 
Make sure you follow the rules on the link page.  C'mon, isn't it time you show the rest of the world what is funny, insane and ludicrous about this medical industry of ours?

2. Education Doesn't Pay


Parents in California are really getting shafted in the treatment of their autistic kids.Lisa Girion of the LA Times writes how insurers are refusing to cover behavioral therapy for their children. Initially, I was a little less sympathetic about this controversy because the article predominantly highlights such phrases as "patient advocates", "Consumer Watchdog", and "threatened to sue". As a layperson reading the piece you may not understand the bias of those groups. The problem is that evidence behind behavioral therapy is scant which makes this topic somewhat controversial in itself. There is only so much money in the healthcare system to go around as it is and in the future we need to be damn sure what we are paying for is effective. That being said, I would rather that money be spent on autistic kids than on the houses of the CEOs of the managed care companies. What bothered me the most about this issue is the strategy Kaiser Permanente is using. They changed their rationale for denying the coverage by claiming "the therapy is not covered because it is educational and not medical". This is scary and if Kaiser wins this battle it could be the tip of the iceberg of things to come. Isn't diabetic education, well, education as well? Why should insurers have to pay for kids to learn how to use insulin syringes?

3.  Leave A Good Doc Alone



It really bothers me when the press goes after a good doctor. Craig Alan Bittner just wanted to help people. He just wanted to give back to this world. Now, for all his efforts, he is being unfairly targeted and hunted down like an animal. It's sad. He left a farewell letter to his patients on his Web site which stated he was relocating to South America to do volunteer work with a small clinic "where I can help those most in need." This physician was a true pioneer. He was first to use discarded body fat from his patients to fuel his biodiesel car. After a two-month apprenticeship with a dermatologist, he learned to do liposuction whereupon he opened up shop on Rodeo Drive. He bombarded the internet with advertising and got very busy; busy enough to let some other "assistants" (non-physicians) do most of the liposuction. And now he is in trouble for sharing his passion. Why? But liposuction wasn't his only love. He was one of the first to open up an MRI center that "he claimed was better than mammography for detecting breast cancer". Only after a bunch of lawsuits and run-ins with the state board did Dr. Bittner have to switch to bodysculping for big bucks. Copernicus, DaVinci, Bittner - all brilliant men who have been tortured for their ingenuity and guts. I will miss you Dr. Bittner. I only hope you help liposuct the hell out of those poor South Americans.

  

FOLLOW THIS LINK TO COMMENT ON THIS STORY

4. Ridiculous Study of the Month I: Genetic Dosing for CoumadinDocs like me hate having to give Coumadin. Not because it doesn't work, but because it is a total crap shoot. Patients who have artificial heart valves or atrial fibrillation need this medication to keep their blood thin and toprevent strokes. A recent study shows that a new genetic test on these patients may help determine a better dosing scheduling. I was first excited to hear about this but further inspection proves that this is a shot in the dark as well. The study was only done on 5,700 people and "proved accurate in setting the dose in about 1 out of 3 warfarin users". Well, that doesn't sound great. The researchers in the study had also received consulting fees and grants by companies involved in genetic testing. This is getting worse. And how about the cost for the genetic testing? Who is going to pay for that? Here is a better study. Let's take a monkey throwing darts at balloons with dosages inside those balloons and see if he gets it right? I bet if you compare my dart-trained monkeys to the genetic testing that I would be as good if not better. Then people would have to pay to use my monkeys and I would finally get rich and take over the world. Sorry, I got a little carried away there.

FOLLOW THIS LINK TO COMMENT ON THIS STORY

5. Laser Eye


It has now been found that nonablative laser surgery can give patients tighter upper and lower eyelids. The procedure costs a few hundred dollars and works by seemingly inducing new collagen formation. The study is totally biased as the lead researcher owns stock in the laser company, but who cares? It's much better than the old method where surgeons were actually transplanting discarded foreskin tissue for cosmesis. Sure those patients looked great but we all know what happened to them - they soon became cockeyed.

FOLLOW THIS LINK TO COMMENT ON THIS STORY

 

6. Placebo Journal Update

 

 

Work has not begun on the next issue of the Placebo Journal.  What you are reading is our sister publication called the Placebo Gazette.  This is much serious and political.  If you want something that is all humor and guaranteed to make you a little incontinent then:

 

 

 

7. Ridiculous Study of the Month II: Light and Prostate Cancer

 


A new study is trying to link artificial light to prostate cancer. Hmmmm. Not ready to buy into this one yet. What they found was that on average, the countries with the highest nighttime light emissions had a prostate rate of about 157 cases per 100,000 men, compared with about 67 per 100,000 among the countries with the lowest nighttime light emissions. The researchers cannot prove cause and effect but believe the disruption of melatonin by the light is the culprit here. The article goes on to talk about how to change the spectrum of lighting or just keep it down altogether. I am all for this anyway and intuitively it seems that we would be healthier with a better sleep if the room was darker. I also have seen how the job has taken its toll on shift workers who come to see me as patients. This study, however, has too many confounding variables to make me believe it just yet; one being that the American Cancer Society states about 1 man in 6 will be diagnosed with prostate cancer during his lifetime, but only 1 man in 35 will die of it. It seems to me that the numbers listed in the article are too low to begin with. Regardless, I can foresee a time that Motel 6 will have to change its slogan to "We won't leave the light on for you".

FOLLOW THIS LINK TO COMMENT ON THIS STORY

8. Feedback About The Placebo Gazette

 

 

I WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU THINK.  Please go to each individual story and follow the link.  If you do not have access to the blog you can also post your thoughts under the WRITE A REVIEW section.   

 

Until next time, keep smiling, keep laughing and keep out of the sample closet.

Doug

King of Medicine   

 

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